MindBody

Sameness

2010-02-26T09:45:00.002-05:00

The Buddha’s awakening began with the dissolving of vanities. He saw a man who was sick and wondered why, when all people have the potential to become sick at any moment, people would be shocked and disgusted by that man’s sickness. When he considered this, the vanity of health left him. In this story, the Buddha recognized the same melting of his vanities when he recognized that all people also can age, and can die- and these vanities, the vanities of youth and of life, dissipated as well.

Sometimes all we need in order to find our own presence and trueness of heart is to recognize ourselves in others. We have simply to focus on the sameness of us, of the human condition, and we can be so easily freed from the judgment we place onto others. Because when you get down to it, we are all made up of the same materials-protons, neutrons…

And all things in this world deserve what you expect for yourself. All beings deserve truth and peace and love. And it is the journey of a mindfulness practice to learn to be a positive influence in this rite. Not to ‘preach the gospel’, so to speak- not to force ideas onto others, but to live in this love within our own selves, so that the impact we have on those with whom we come into contact is a loving and kind one- and with hope, this ever-forgiveness and love could encourage others to go throughout their day in loving kindness, a ripple effect.

For we really only have control of ourselves. We really only have power within our own bodies and minds. But our influence can be great: consider someone bumping into you without apologizing. It can be very easy to go from a place of loving kindness to a place of frustration, or even confusion at why someone would do something like this. We are affected by the people around us in their, and our, every decision. Every moment of your life is another chance to smile, to give, to love unconditionally all of those around you.

We must encourage ourselves constantly to live in this kindness, this truth, this presence, as a way of, if nothing else, doing our part to be a small piece of positivity in this world.

Just like laughter, it will most certainly spread.

From the Sutta Pitaka

2010-02-25T23:48:00.000-05:00

From 'THE WORLD'

"He who formerly was reckless and afterward became sober brightens up this world, like the moon when freed from clouds."

Light Heartedness

2010-02-24T17:49:00.001-05:00

It is really easy to take life too seriously in New York City. The essence that the city holds, its life force seems to be "Go." "Faster." "Accomplish." "Be Better." We often come to take our work as our lives instead of our livelihood, and see everyone else in the city as some kind of barrier between us and our goals. In a city this competitive, it seems, we can't afford to take a break, can't afford to step back from our work, and we end up taking ourselves and our lives far too seriously far too much of the time.

This isn't a predicament only in New York, of course, it just seems to be magnified here with so many people in such tight quarters. But people everywhere, though it seems particularly in America, are more and more stressed and are feeling more and more the pressure of 'success'. We work longer and longer hours, take fewer and fewer vacations and spend less time with family and friends.

Yoga and meditation practice, of course, can be a wonderful addition to the ardent worker's life as a way to help find the breath, to slow down, to calm the mind. However, many of us find difficulty in letting go of this competitive self even in yoga practice. We become competitive, not only with other students in our classes ('I'll balance in crow longer than anyone else!') but with ourselves. And we aren't only competitive when it comes to the physical aspects of our poses. We can be competitive spiritually as well, becoming quickly frustrated if we cannot find the presence today that we expect of ourselves after so many years of mindfulness practice.

These competitive moments with ourselves and others can be quite unhelpful. But if you are a consistent practitioner of mindfulness and you cannot seem to find your inner self, that can be truly frustrating.

I was feeling a bit of this frustration in my yoga practice today. I arrived to class early and spent twenty minutes in seated meditation, but I simply couldn't find myself. I tried all of the usual techniques but nothing seemed to be working. When class got started, I began to smile and to empty my mind- to exist in my body only and try not to focus so much on my presence.

Then something wonderful happened. The teacher who was leading the class made a joke and everyone in the class began to laugh. It was a big laugh, the kind that made many people in the class fall out of their downward dogs and chuckle on their mats for a moment. This laughter, throughout the room and within myself, allowed me to feel a kind of silly joy that I hadn't felt in some time. It allowed me to recognize how seriously I was taking myself and how hard I was being on my self and my feeling of lack of presence. As soon as I began to laugh and to recognize the sense of aggression I was having with myself, I was able to step away from it and exist within myself again.

There is a difference between taking our selves seriously and taking our work seriously. Success, I believe does depend on taking your work seriously, however, we have to learn how to separate our work from our selves, no matter how passionate we may be about our occupations.

Sometimes learning to take ourselves less seriously (to 'lighten up', so to speak) can come from something that humbles us- tripping on the sidewalk, a broken umbrella in a rainstorm, falling into someone on the train. And sometimes it can come from something that makes us laugh- that reminds us that life is truly full of joy, and that it is up to us to find it and recognize it.

On Responsibility

2010-02-21T21:51:00.001-05:00

The idea that has been lately helping me most efficiently to find my way into my body, into my mindfulness practice, is that of responsibility. The thought that we have a responsibility to ourselves to be spiritually, mentally, physically healthy. No one else has this responsibility, nor do we have the responsibility to fulfill these things in others.
Yes, it is important in our relationships to be helpful, to be supportive, and to take others' health as our own concern. There is even insinuation in the love of a life partnership that the other person's happiness is just as much your interest as your own happiness. I believe these things to be true as well, however being supportive in these ways, taking an active interest in others' health and happiness, and taking sole responsibility for others' health and happiness are two very different ideas.

It is really an incredibly liberating idea that oneself, and only oneself, holds this responsibility. For then our expectations of others can lighten. The burdens that we can sometimes place on our close friends and family can lighten. And our own burdens that we carry when we take responsibility for the happiness of another, can lighten as well.

Recognizing this responsibility instantly puts me in my body. As if my self is awakened by the thought of such a serious and consequential job. My self is awakened because my own well being must be protected! And my self is the one to do this. Only my self can possibly do this. It helps me to realize the importance of a holistic lifestyle and a strong mindfulness practice, and thus takes me there instantly.

Because truly our physical, mental and spiritual health all comes from the inside- through reflection, recognition, forgiveness and presence. And the only individual not only responsible for this, but for whom it is really possible to experience and create these things within the self, is the self.

Tool Belt

2010-02-16T07:34:00.001-05:00

It seems I have been having a more and more difficult time lately finding myself inside my body: really being the experiencer, really listening, really seeing, really feeling. I think that we can get into a rut, even in the mindfulness practice. We find techniques that work for us, and then we depend on them, moment after moment, day after day, week after week, to take us into our bodies, into forgiveness, into mindfulness.

Every day is a different day- that what worked yesterday, how your body was feeling yesterday, will not necessarily be the case today. We have to notice and react within every second of every moment in order to stay present. It is a consistent choice. We have to choose to be here and now within every milisecond. Now. Now. and Now.

This is why it can be so helpful to hear about the practices of others, to go to many teachers and yoga studios, to read the teachings of the Buddha, the Upanishads, mantras, etc...
Just as we have a 'tool belt' of information for alignment on the mat, we also need to be equipped with a 'tool belt' of information for our mindfulness practice. Listening to the breath, finding active thankfulness, silent meditations, chanting...
Different words can strike differently with different people, and at different moments. The images that worked before may not work now, so the more ideas, the more imagery we have to refer to, the more likely we are to find a practice that will work for us on different occasions.
It is important to notice what is working for us, but also what is not working for us. Sometimes if we can recognize what it is that we are missing, why we are struggling, where we are feeling tenseness or frustration, we can easily fill it with a new image, idea, group of words.

We can really be our own best teachers when it comes to the mindfulness practice. But the more we read, the more of us that are noticing, discovering, and sharing, the more information there is. The bigger the tool belt. The greater the general understanding of presence. The greater the mindfulness of the world.

Sleep Meditation

2010-02-12T19:13:00.001-05:00

I have noticed that I feel best and most mindful when I am getting regular, peaceful sleep. Many of us, even if we are at peace during the day, have fitful, broken sleep at night. It's almost as if we have control over our mindfulness if we are awake, and our subconscious lets loose during sleep with all of the negativity that we are trying to release during the day.
I am guilty of this as well. But I have begun to recognize that I can release the negativity during sleep as well, and have peaceful and consistent sleep, if I do a passive movement meditation as I am slipping out of consciousness.

I begin lying on my back, essentially in savasana, but under the covers in a way that feels most comfortable. I begin with my toes on one foot. I start by inhaling deeply, and, on the exhale, sending my breath to my toes, one at a time (I try to switch up starting with the big toe or the little toe). It can feel nice to imagine filling up the toe with the breath- as if it were hollow and the air coming into it were a big thick cloud. I spend at least five long breaths on each toe, but I stay with each toe until I really feel it 'full' of breath. Then, switch to the toes on the other foot.
Next, move slowly through each section of the foot. Sending the breath as a cloud to fill up each crevasse inside. The order can go something like: Toes, top of foot, middle of foot, heels, ankles, calves/shins, knees, upper legs, pelvis, lower trunk, ribs, chest, upper arm, lower arm, wrists, hands fingers, shoulders, neck, head, face, sensory organs.
I try to take extra attention and send extra breath to body parts which may have been particularly strained the day before this particular sleep, and always to spend extra time on the joints. Often, by the time I get to my sensory organs and am sending breath through my ears, I feel so light and willowy that I seem to float into sleep effortlessly and with a deep smile.
On these nights, I tend to wake up after a full, dreamless sleep, in the exact same position in which I fell asleep, having not tossed or turned or even shifted during the night.

I tend to be more easily forgiving, more thankful for my ability to find my body from the inside, and to live there, when I have sleep like this. Just like any other part of the practice, it takes patience and determination to do this work. But, just like any other part of the practice, it is both necessary, and the rewards, the joy, is worth so much more than the amount of work you have to do. What a gift, what incredible luck, that we were blessed with an awareness skill to hone.

From 'The Twin Verses'

2010-02-10T20:50:00.001-05:00

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him, as the wheel follows the foot of the ox that draws the carriage.
All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded of our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."

Immediate Forgiveness

2010-02-06T00:32:00.000-05:00

The path of mindfulness is a difficult and consistent one, we know.
It can be so very challenging to continue to feel thankful and peaceful, especially in times of turmoil.

We can all lose our tempers from time to time. We can all be overcome by our emotions. It is human propensity. It can even be good, can be both informative and humbling, to be reminded of these human tendencies. Recognizing them as universal human inclinations is important, it can help us to be less judgemental of ourselves and more forgiving of ourselves when we do have moments when we become carried away.

But in such instances when we do become carried away, if you're like me, we tend to feel guilty. We become so quickly frustrated with ourselves because we feel as though we have stepped off of the path of mindfulness.
But it is the mindfulness that must save us from this feeling of frustration with ourselves.
It is the mindfulness that teaches us to be immediately forgiving of our inconsistencies.

Just as we have to be consistent about the reminders to be present, we have to be consistent with our forgiveness of ourselves. We have to forgive ourselves in this moment. And this moment. And this.

It is this immediate forgiveness that allows us to continue with our mindfulness practice. For we all have the tendencies to stray from it. But this straying is important. These steps away from our mindfulness are necessary. They are how we learn. By learning to recognize the moments when we are stepping out of our bodies or becoming stuck in our minds or closing our hearts, we are more easily able to recognize the feeling of the mindfulness: the peace and the bliss of the mindfulness, and its importance.

A wise woman and meditation guide of mine said once that it is not the lack of straying within a meditation which makes us mindful, but the ability to recognize our straying, and return to ourselves. The lesson lies in the coming back.

Things happen in life that pull us away from the mindfulness, but it is a part of the path to allow those things to happen and to recognize them as a part of the learning process.

"If you're going to make an omelette..."

Problem Solving

2010-02-03T00:26:00.003-05:00

A wise man said that if you are dealing with an immediate problem, a great way to deal with the problem at hand is to somehow step back from it and change your inner state.
Step away from the problem and meditate. Breathe. Be still. Go for a walk. Engage in some yoga or mindfulness practice as a way of coming into yourself and reflecting.
It could be that time away from the problem could give you the time you need to cool down, to allow your emotions to settle. But time away from the problem itself, while helpful, may likely not be enough.
By meditating, by stepping consciously and purposefully into your own body and feeling the love and joy brought by presence and breath, we can alter our own perspective on the world, and as such, the problem at hand.

It is more likely than not that, given this time to feel ourselves as present, joyful and forgiving, we will either begin to see a solution to the problem, or, possibly, come to recognize that this problem is not, in fact, a problem at all.

It is precisely the action of getting too wrapped up in our problems that blinds us from solutions, or the truth of the matter at hand. Our emotions can wrap so tightly around our minds that they can no longer see clearly: our hearts feel blocked. Taking the time to step away and become steadfastly here, now, awake and thankful can open our eyes and give us the space within our bodies to open our hearts and listen to the truths of the matter at hand.

The mindfulness provides us answers. It provides us the space to hear the truth and recognize our emotions as (often, when it comes to problem solving) overwhelming and unhelpful. May we always remind ourselves that the mindfulness can be not only a lifestyle, but a tool for helping us to hear what is happening in actuality, what we really want or need, and whether, in fact, what we see as problems are even problems at all.

Be

2010-02-01T21:23:00.003-05:00

Be. Be. Be. Be.

This Moment, Brought to You by...

2010-01-26T21:20:00.000-05:00

In the midst of some ranting/raving of one sort or another, a dear friend of mine once stopped me and said,

"Every minute of your entire life has led up to this moment, here."

Naturally, this stopped me in my mental tracks. I instantly halted my rant and reflected on this statement.

It is really just another way to define the presence for which we seek, and about which we consistently ponder. But what a powerful way to consider the presence.

You are within this moment here, the oldest you have ever been. You are at the height of your existence now. And now. And now. Every second that approaches us has been preceded by every second which came before it. It has all built up to this climax of your life- this height of your age, your knowledge your existence. This is the high point. Now this is. Now this is.

This is the moment, now, made possible by every single thing that has happened before it. This is the ultimate. Every turn, every choice, every person who has crossed your path, every thought you have ever had has brought you, specifically, to this here and this now!

My friend's statement caused me to ask myself: "So what are you going to do with it?"
This moment, this height, this is the zenith of your lifetime. All of your achievements and knowledge has happened in order to bring you to this moment here.

How am I going to thank my past for getting me all the way to here?

Presence

2010-01-22T21:47:00.000-05:00

The greatest possible joy - the truest, most incredible, most full feeling any human can ever achieve - is presence itself.

Considering the Breath

2010-01-19T21:49:00.000-05:00

The breath is such a powerful thing.

We are often told in yoga and meditation practices to "follow the breath". This can mean many things, depending on who we are and what images are helpful to us. Some of us may listen to the sound the air makes as it passes through our bodies. This can be soothing. Some of us may visualize the air's passing, creating perhaps colors or images of vapor. We can smell the breath- we can feel it flowing through our noses.

But what is the ultimate purpose of this instruction? Is it important to actually follow the breath, or is it just an exercise to assist us in quieting our minds?

It is an elemental part of the practice to quiet the mind. The idea toward which we are working is, certainly, mind stillness and recognition of truth and infinity within ourselves.

However, there could arguable be an even greater reason to spend time following our air passaging.

Let us consider the breath. Let us consider its power and it's presence, and recognize how huge and how brilliant a thing it is.

This is life stuff, this breath!

This is the universe, this is the Fates, this is Yahweh, if you so choose.

The breath is faith itself, it is vulnerability, it is the presence-maker and the moment recognizer and the tour guide of mindfulness throughout our own bodies.

Belief in the breath as our greatest fuel and profound respect for the breath as the giver of life and the catalyst for all cleansing, healing and maintaining processes of the body and mind, is as great a prayer as one can find.

A religious person or a non religious person, we can all agree that the thing that is the breath is a miraculous life-creator and sustainer.

It is also, entirely, infinite.

Recognizing these things about the breath can allow us to recognize more easily the truth and infinity within each of us uniquely. For here is this stuff that flows through us constantly! We can feel it! We can smell it! We can hear it! It is physically real and flowing through us all at every moment. It is physical proof of the particular greatness, earnestness and life that is within each and every one of us, always.

Envy

2010-01-18T09:41:00.001-05:00

Jealousy can be a difficult thing to control. Especially when we have a particularly important journey on which we are focused. To see someone else on that journey succeeding can sometimes, despite all our efforts, make us feel frustrated- make us feel that perhaps we are not doing well enough on our journeys ourselves.

I think it is possible that we have a sense that perhaps there is not an infinite amount of brilliance in the world- an infinite amount of love- an infinite amount of 'success'. It is this thought that can make us feel frustrated at others' accomplishments. As though someone else's achievements somehow take away from our own achievements.

No one's accomplishments take away from your accomplishments. Your journey is your journey no matter who may be traveling or succeeding in a similar path.

There is an infinite amount of brilliance.

There is an infinite amount of success.

And, most certainly of all, there is an infinite amount of love.

Do not let others' love take away from your love. Your love is unique. Your love is the only of your love that there is. Be empowered knowing that we all have the capacity for brilliance and presence. And that fact is a blessing to each of our singular journeys. Not a hindrance.

The Goals of the Moment

2010-01-15T20:35:00.000-05:00

I believe it to be a safe assumption that we all have goals. We all have ideas of what we would like to accomplish in our lives. Perhaps in the next five or ten years, this week, and even today. We make grocery lists and schedules. We keep track of our progress.

But what would happen if, instead of asking ourselves "what do I want out of life", we asked ourselves,

"What do I want out of this moment, right now?"

Not 'what do I wish I could have done', or 'what do I aspire to', but

"What do I want to be right now?", "What do I want to experience right now?"

When asking myself this question, here were some of my answers.

- to experience the weight of my body

- to see clearly

- to feel and recognize my breath as my life force, and to notice how it is feeding me

- to foster love and respect for myself and all others

- to forgive

- to be vulnerable and allow

- to move from and be of my inner self

- to be truthful

- to notice the world around me

- to notice the world within me

Miraculously, these are many of the same goals that I have for myself this week, this year, and for the rest of my life. I believe it to be likely that this is the case for most of us. Many of the goals that we see as long-term goals for our selves, may also be goals we hope to accomplish within the moment. And how beautiful! How miraculous to recognize that, truly, any of these goals that are the same, for life and for the moment, can be fulfilled now. Right now! Thus, many of our long-term goals, in all fact, have the possibility of being achieved with complete and utter immediacy.

O!

2010-01-15T00:09:00.000-05:00

O! The freedom of being exactly and only your particular.

Winter Spring

2010-01-13T23:17:00.001-05:00

I begin today with a poem by one of my very favorite poets.

Winter Spring

by Richard Wilbur

A script of trees before the hill

Spells cold, with laden serifs; all the walls

Are battlemented still;

But winter spring is winnowing the air

Of chill, and crawls

Wet-sparkling on the gutters;

Everywhere

Walls wince, and there's the steal of waters.

Now all this proud royaume

Is Veniced. Through the drift's mined dome

One sees the rowdy rusted grass,

And we're amazed as windows stricken bright.

This too-soon spring will pass

Perhaps tonight,

And doubtless it is dangerous to love

This somersault of seasons;

But I am weary of

The winter way of loving things for reasons.

The bitter New England cold can get heavy in these deep winter months.

So much so, that the slightest increase in temperature, the smallest moment of pure sunshine, can lift our spirits. It can give us such hope for what is to come.

I love so much about these words. I love how universal the feeling is, waiting patiently for spring to 'winnow the air of chill'. I love the image of the walls of a home wincing, perhaps with their first movements after a long, thick frost. But what I find truly captivating about this poem, is the end of the last stanza: "and doubtless it is dangerous to love/This somersault of seasons;/But I am weary of /The winter way of loving things for reasons."

The winter way. I love how this pertains to the journey of the mind-body.

For is not the journey, ultimately, about love? Through these efforts of forgiveness and of presence, of clarity of intention and earnestness, the lowest common denominator is Love. To love all and to send love to all at all times. To learn not to be discriminatory with our love. To love those who are helpful to our journeys and those who are not. The ultimate test of our earnestness and forgiveness is to love the very persons who are the most difficult to love: those whom some texts would call, 'our enemies'.

This loving without boundaries, is, essentially, loving without reason. It is loving without demarcation. It is loving for the sake of loving: love for love's sake!

And is this loving for reasons not the winter way? It seems to be increasingly difficult to remain in a state of forgiveness and love when it is so cold. We tend to not spend as much time outside, or even to be willing to travel to see friends or family. We begin to discriminate-to prioritize our love. The shorter days make it seem as though we have less time in our days, as we have so much less daylight than we may have during the spring and summer months. We become anxious, our bodies become tight, and the love is that much more difficult to find. Thus, we love things, in essence, for reasons.

It can be so much easier in the spring and summer months to love boundlessly. The warm air brings us outside, the sunshine feeds our bodies and souls, and we convene. Our communities breathe and we meet new people in the park. We love more freely and more openly and more willingly.

And so our challenge becomes, just like loving our enemies, deciding to allow our love to abound, to be reasonless, when it is exactly the most difficult. For it is at these times when love is needed most: both in the world and inside of ourselves. By practicing this reasonless, this abounding love, we can change our surface with the world. By changing our surface, our own love inside of our own selves, we can spread that love everywhere we go. We can bring a little spring into these dark winter months. And how glorious would it be, to wallow in the 'steal of waters' that break forth.

A Single Moment

2010-01-07T00:38:00.000-05:00

I finally convinced my partner to accompany me to a yoga class. We agreed to meet 30 minutes before the class was to begin, in order to leave ample time to sign in and to get him acquainted with the space. When waiting for him near the front desk- 25 minutes to class, 20 minutes to, 10 minutes to- I noticed myself beginning to get anxious. After anxious, it turned to frustration: frustration began to turn into anger.

Often in a situation like this, I would allow myself to sit and fume over his lateness. I would think of all of the other times he had disappointed me in this fashion: all the times he has not done what he said he would do: times I was counting on him and he did not come through...

However, this time I decided to stop myself- before frustration became full-blown anger- and breathe.

I did some deep breathing for a couple of minutes- smiling and relaxing my facial muscles. In this moment I realized that I, so often, take my spiritual journey as separate from the rest of my life: as though the time for working toward love and gratitude is particular, and not for moments of frustration or difficulty. As though the time for this work is only in meditation, or in times when I am already feeling peaceful and thankful.

I realized that it is truly the opposite: the time to practice being grateful is exactly when it is most difficult to do so. To find happiness and clarity when there is turmoil within the self is the most important time of all.

And this realization not only brought me a great moment of wisdom, but also prevented what could have been a rift between my partner and me. Because I took the time to breathe and to try to be understanding, when my partner showed I was genuinely happy to see him, and genuinely grateful to be inviting him into the practice which is so important to me.

A single moment can make all the difference. If we catch ourselves quickly, we can prevent spiraling into that negative space.

Beginnings

2010-01-01T05:37:00.000-05:00

The start of a New Year has me thinking about expectations. Hopes for a prosperous and healthy year ahead, hopes for career progress, for love, joy and presence.

Beginnings can feel both refreshing and daunting. Many of us have a tendency to create great expectations of ourselves at the beginning of something- be it a new year, a new job, or even the beginning of a meditation or yoga practice. I notice myself sometimes at the onset of meditation thinking about what I hope to accomplish in this sitting:

I will sit for a full hour without fidgeting.

I will not wonder how much time has passed.

I will reach a certain level of clarity or forgiveness.

And we do this on the mat as well:

I will conquer my fear of sirsasana.

I will release both hips to the ground in pigeon.

I will straighten my arms in bakasana.

It can be helpful to set these kinds of goals for our own improvement.

However, much of what is helpful and important about mindfulness practice is noticing where we are now. What would happen if, instead of pushing ourselves, we took the time to recognize where we already are?

For so much progress is found when we allow ourselves to be exactly where we are- to live within exactly the process in which we are already.

By allowing ourselves the freedom, respect, and space to be only and uniquely where we are right now, we can open the space for a softening. A softening of judgement and expectation. The relinquishing of this expectation is exactly the thing which allows us to settle, and thus to soar.

It is important to set goals for ourselves- manageable (though nonetheless fantastic!) goals, both off of the mat and outside of our meditations. But it is the acceptance of ourselves and our current processes, exactly as they are, which gives us the vulnerability to improve with earnestness - from the inside out.

From the Sutta-Nipata

2009-12-30T23:58:00.000-05:00

"May creatures all abound

in weal and peace; may all

be blessed with peace always;

all creatures weak or strong,

all creatures great and small;

creatures unseen or seen,

dwelling afar or near,

born or awaiting birth,

-may all be blessed with peace!

Let none cajole or flout

his fellow anywhere;

let none wish others harm

in dudgeon or in hate.

Just as with her own life

a mother shields from hurt

her own, her only, child,-

let all-embracing thoughts

for all that lives be thine,

-an all-embracing love

for all the universe

in all its heights and depths

and breadth, unstinted love,

unmarred by hate within,

not rousing enmity.

So, as you stand or walk,

or sit, or lie, reflect

with all your might on this;

-'tis deemed 'a state divine.'"

A reminder to myself, and to us all, to love equally and always. Without fear, without reason, without judgement, without discernment. "'tis deemed 'a state divine!'"

Two Questions

2009-12-11T01:03:00.000-05:00

When in doubt, ask yourself:

One- Is it kind?

And two- Is it useful?

These two questions have been guiding my actions, and they are powerful ones. If you ask yourself each time you are beginning to feel frustrated or angry toward someone or some situation: is this kind? No, certainly getting angry at someone is not kind. And is it useful? Nine times out of ten, the answer is no, this frustrating thought is not truly helping to make the traffic move more quickly, nor is getting angry helping the dishes to clean themselves.

Our egos may beg to differ- they do like so to be pleased by petty wins. But if we ask ourselves these questions each time we begin to make judgement on some one or some situation, I believe we will find the answers to be helpful. And our actions abiding them to be wise.

Gandhi says:

2009-08-02T14:13:00.000-04:00

Renounce, and Enjoy!

Follow Your Whims

2009-08-02T13:57:00.000-04:00

Follow Your Whims.
I beseech you.

For the good of all things inner and truthful.

I went for a walk/jog in the park today, and about 3 minutes into the hour that would be my full run it began to pour buckets.
The logical thing to have done, I suppose, would have been to turn back. But it was so beautiful- so brilliant. So I continued on.

About halfway through my run I came upon the huge field in the middle of the park- it rivals Central Park's Great Lawn as far as size and brilliant green openness. The jogging/biking path curves around, but my self had this great urge to run straight into the huge, empty green space and take in the rain. So I followed it. I ran and ran through the rain, through the space, all alone in the middle of New York.
When I'd had my fill I found a pathway which headed back to the main pathway, and continued my run, in whole, unadulterated elation. I grinned from ear to ear through the next two miles, and it has rubbed off on my entire day.

Our whims and urges are not necessarily just longings for the simplicities of childhood, or selfish cravings. Our whims and urges can, in fact, be our inner selves' way of telling us what would fulfill us completely within a moment: a way of guiding us to do something our minds would not normally allow us to do, because of the guidelines of social conventions, or even simply for fear of seeming crazy.
But how fulfilling- how utterly enrapturing it is to follow them: to allow yourself that small moment of rebellion and indulgence of the soul.

How healthy. How truthful to allow yourself to acknowledge it, and breathe in it, and follow it through.

The Buddha says

2009-07-29T21:21:00.001-04:00

The accumulation of good is delightful

The Challenge of The Dare

2009-07-29T20:48:00.000-04:00

When I think of the word "dare" I am taken back to days of my childhood. Starting very young we used to 'dare' and 'double dare' each other to talk to a cute boy in the class, or pull off some new stunt on the monkey bars. As we grew older, the dares became more dangerous: driving too fast or drinking too much, maybe skipping a class, or making prank phone calls...

And then we get to a point where we decide that dares are too dangerous, are too risky, and we make the choice to turn ourselves into respectable and well mannered adults.

Now, the dares of our earlier lives are certainly not things that we may long to relive or rediscover. However, the concept of the dare is something of an untapped resource of the spiritual self.

Because what is a dare, really? What is a dare at its essence?

A dare is a challenge. And a self-dare is a challenge of the self, by the self.

We know that meditation, that living in and through love, that living in forgiveness, is an incredible challenge. It takes daily, hourly, moment by moment practice, and it does not always come easily. While it may be, as the Bhagavad Gita suggests, our nature to live in love, most of us have been conditioned otherwise; working to undo that conditioning is a continual and incredible struggle.

But what if we could use the tools of our childhood- what if we could use the ego against itself for the good of our meditation? What if we actively dared our true selves to forgive? To live in love?

What if we dared ourselves to go a little farther than we may feel comfortable away from the ego, from the thought-self, and into the spacious free-fall of the ever-self, the infinite and true self?

Because many days it is simply the fear of the unknown that holds onto this world of the senses: of judgement, of ego, of selfish thought. Because these are things that come easily, because judgement is how we make sense out of the world, categorizing things, putting them into boxes. Our ego is where we hold our desires, our drive, and in this western world we cling desperately to the capitalistic ideals of success. And, similarly, selfish thought is how we may rise through this system and 'make something of ourselves'. These are things which we have come to learn to value, and we cling to them because we believe them to be right.

But relinquishing them is the way of love, the way of peace and of truth. And relinquishing that which we have come to know as normalcy is as terrifying as falling off of the monkey bars. Or crashing a car that is moving too fast.

So what if we dare ourselves to make that plunge? Dare ourselves to let the judgement and the ego fall away? Dare ourselves to experience the beautiful free-fall, the ever-breath that is living within forgiveness...

Beautiful

2009-06-29T20:21:00.000-04:00

Beautiful is she who lives only as she and not as her skin

On and Around Anxiety

2009-03-19T09:59:00.001-04:00

Where do you Want to Be?

What a question. And, yet also, what an answer!
In the context of anxiety, this question truly explains so much. This question is practically anxiety's definition: the exaggerated urge- nay- need, to be somewhere one is not, or to be doing something one is not doing. And the one and only cure for this-

Want to Be Where You Are.
Right Now.
Always.

And be grateful for it. Be so grateful for your body- for being given the gift to take up space- Any space at all!- and the anxiety, the fear, the judgment, the regret... it all fades.
Because we are all just people.
We are all just beings who have been given the gift to take up a little space-
for a little while-
with some other beings and things which have also been given that gift.

Retraction, and Further Observation

2008-12-04T23:51:00.000-05:00

And so it seems I have to make an official correction in regards to the 'metal hanger' experiment I referenced not too terribly long ago.
So the reader remembers: the experiment requires one person standing at a decent distance (fifteen, twenty feet, or further) from another person. The first person stands still while the second person hold a metal hanger straight out in front of them, walking slowly toward the first person.
Now, when I did this experimenting before, I was under the mistaken impression that you are to hold the hanger from the 'c' shaped end, when in fact you should be holding it vertically by the broad, flat end.
There was also talk of this experiment being a test of personal boundary: the farther in someone gets to you before the hanger begins to turn, in a sense, the less personal space you require.
However, in new research that was done this evening, it was suggested by one of the many brilliant minds in my company that perhaps the hanger began to shake when it reached the aura of the first person, or, more scientifically, the edge of their projected magnetic field.
This last theory does seem to cater to our proof-needers, however we found a fascinating discrepancy: it seems the distance at which the hanger begins to waiver, differs depending on who the hanger holder happens to be.
Now I have to say, this gives one up for the idea of the hanger-test testing personal boundary: it seems natural to have different boundary reactions to different people. But our general, physical magnetic field? Is that something that changes? Does it react? Does it have to do with the magnetic field of the second person?
And, even deeper, can we, as the stander, project our selves, our aura, our magnetic field, consciously? If we mentally project ourselves out further, almost a giving feeling, does our magnetic field grow? If we hold our breath and shut ourselves off, can the hanger holder get all the way to us with no wavering?
I certainly plan to do more hanger test research including all of these aspects, and will notate the results soon.

RE Core Location

2008-11-23T23:52:00.000-05:00

More research on the location of the core.
What I have noticed, in both myself and in others to whom I have spoken about this, is that our 'core' (or what I have a tendency to call the 'self') location seems to have a tendency to shift.
Life gets stressful for everyone. You can miss a train because you hesitated one step: you watch the doors close in front of you, and because of it you become, in a moment, twenty minutes late.
Hundreds, thousands, of people pushing past each other in Times Square when you have to be somewhere eight blocks up in two minutes. The absurd rental prices, the lack of space...
Now, when I give into this feeling, this stress, this anger- when I am not doing regular meditation and forgiveness-offering, I have found that my core being, my self, lives inside the head. At the front of the inside of the forehead. It feels almost as if it's being pushed up there by the feelings we are not letting out through consistent meditational forgiveness. (Or maybe it's trying to make an escape! Honestly, I couldn't blame it. Who wants to live around all that anger and judgment?)
When we reside in this head place, this mind-only place, all that anger and judgment reflects back onto ourselves: we begin to feel less secure, often becoming negatively self-reflective. And, importantly, it is infinitely more difficult to recognize our 'selves' on the inside of our bodies. It is as if all of the negativity we are holding in prevents us from residing anywhere other than inside our head, where we are (most unevenly) doing all of our current (negative thinking) work: this lack of meditation and release keeps our selves (mentally) imprisoned until we have done enough forgiving to give it more space to move around.
Now, what I have noticed to this affect, is that when we are in process of relinquishing our judgment, when we are in regular meditation and in the practice of offering forgiveness around us, our core being naturally resides in a much lower position. In the lower chest, or even abdomen, for some. And, most excitingly, we can move around! Our selves, our consciousnesses can explore what it feels like to reside in (initiate from) different parts of the body. And, most fulfillingly, we can move our physical selves entirely and only from our core selves. We can let go of the external movement, and can move from the inside, where movement becomes more earnest and central.
I sometimes notice the difference in as little as one meditation: the feeling that my core (or, if you prefer, center of gravity) actually physically drops.

Corolation: Personal Boundaries and Knowledge

2008-09-21T23:23:00.000-04:00

A recent conversation with a dear and brilliant minded friend has brought to light a new concept: personal boundaries.
There is said to be a test: said, the hanger test. You hold a metal hanger by the 'c' shaped end, out in front of you and walk, very slowly, toward a person.
Supposedly, when you hit this person's projected 'personal space' limit, the hanger will start to waiver: literally waving in the air back and forth.
Now, I have done a bit of research with this hanger trick, and haven't found much conclusive evidence that the trick itself is informative in any serious way, but it does bring about another fascinating mind/body thought experiment: personal boundaries and our physical and psychological reaction to other human beings.
How and why are our personal boundaries so different from other persons', and in what part of us do they reside? Is it a physical reaction? Psychological? Emotional? What part of us is it that retracts from others, that keeps them at a certain distance, that protects ourselves?
Do we physically retract from those who may have larger physiques? Do we emotionally retract from those who may have hurt us in the past? Do we psychologically retract from those to whom we may feel mentally or professionally inferior? Do we spiritually retract from the cynical?
All of these questions seem fairly natural to me: I feel that, as much as it may be many of our journeys to relinquish our judement, we do judge people to a degree. Just today I walked down a street in Brooklyn that was in not-the-best part of town, and there was a slight tensing in my body for the short walk through the neighborhood. And I have certainly been a victim to keeping myself from being completely open with someone who may have proved untrustworthy at an earlier time.
Live and Learn, they say!
Perhaps that is our curse, I say. The gathering of knowledge. Perhaps it is our greatest hope, simply, to live and learn but never know a thing for sure. Perhaps it is this 'gathering' that prevents us from this judgment-relinquishing. It feels like protection, doesn't it? It is our only self chosen body-guard, this constant knowledge pile. They tell us to learn from our mistakes, but, is it this guard we cherish so greatly that keeps us from enjoying our lives? That keeps us from living our moments? Shouldn't we all really be striving for a straight and steady hanger all the way to the heart?

Which is us?

2008-07-10T20:06:00.000-04:00

And so: which is us?
Ah the ever-expanding and much-debated mind-body question of how the mind and body connect. If, as is suggested in many circles of thought, the mind is of 'mind stuff' and the body of 'physical stuff', how can they possibly communicate and meet as one?
As this question is and has been under frequent and constant debate for some time, I want to move past the question itself, and into a second question it brings about: If, as suggested, the mind and body are, in pure essence of make-up, completely different, then in which, if any, when we refer to our 'selves', does our actual 'self' reside?

The center of one's self is something we are all becoming more and more aware of, especially as yoga practices have spread more and more into the mainstream. The idea of being aware of one's 'core' - of the focus of one's center of gravity, the concentrated portion that makes up the self, is becoming a more prominent idea on which to focus. But where do we concentrate our energy to concentrate on this self, on this core, this center?

Let us consider the dualist: the self must reside in either the 'mind' or the 'body', which are considered to be two very separate parts of each being. For one person cannot hold more than one 'self': one 'self' equals one person, and if the 'mind' and 'body' are truly separate the way a dualist would suggest, then the self must reside in only one of these, and simply hold command over the other in order to connect them. The most common idea among dualists (namely, most judeo-christian religions) would be that the 'self' resides within the 'mind', or the 'soul', and thus has not but a command over the body.
My resounding argument against this idea is tied with my yoga practice, and this very core-search that is becoming more a part of many of our lives. Why, then, are we so much more spiritually connected, so much more aware of our 'center', our 'selves', even our 'souls', if you will, when we actively, physically, send them our focus?
The health of the body, the health of the brain, on the physical level, have everything to do with, and are directly correlated to, the health of, and more importantly, connection with and residing within of, the core of one's self. The body has a command of its own over the 'self', and must be connected with by the 'self' in order to gain our recognition.
And so my suggestion remains, that, in fact, the 'soul' or 'self' must exist in every portion of us, equally and always. For if you require the 'self' to exist in either 'mind stuff' or 'body stuff', then any true connection between the two is utterly impossible: one must ultimately act a slave to the other. And yet we can feel what it is to consciously 'live' within a part of the body- to 'locate' the 'self' in different areas by following our consciousness. That we are mobile, and yet never in one singular place at any given moment.

There you are. And still and still.

2008-06-21T01:24:00.000-04:00

The problem truly is, that wherever you go, there you are.

It is more common than not, I believe, the feeling of needing a vacation from yourself. There comes a time when we start to understand ourselves pretty well, our workings, our quirks and idiosyncrasies, and, just like with everyone else around us, there are moments when even we wish, as ourselves, that we would shut the hell up.

Sometimes we need a vacation from ourselves: we need time to breathe and reboot: to recharge and replenish ourselves and all other of those 're' words that are so good and (have to say it) refreshing for our minds and bodies.

The problem being, of course, that we always are ourselves. We cannot get away from ourselves, being the selves that we are, and so: a new mind body question arises: How does one escape oneself?

And perhaps the answer lies, once again, in the curious separation of the mind from the body: giving our halves vacations from each other, to exist on their own for a time. And hence: meditation and physical exploration.

Gandhi's Suggestion, and Personal Identity Pt. 3

2008-06-12T22:44:00.000-04:00

Gandhi said we must be the change we wish to see in the world. This brings to mind images of people helping people, using their actions to alter the things they see as needing to be altered: putting a small but hopeful dent in some corner of the universe somewhere, adding to the good, battling the evil: somehow truly embodying-being the one who is doing the things that need be done for your ideal vision of the world to be a reality. Isn't this, in essence, what we all do on some level in our daily lives? Someone decides to be an architect, perhaps because they, on some surface level, have a pure joy for drawing lines and imagining structures, but on a deeper level it is because they wish to see these images in their mind out there, in the world, making it better. Isn't this what we all strive for on a purely basic level? We all feel a human tendency, nay, necessity, to change the world: whether it is the part of ourselves that we follow completely, whether we are willing to give our entire lives over to this drive or it simply tugs at us when we decide to use our canvas bags at the corner store instead of the plastic ones they provide. It is built into all of us- this change, this growth- it is how we evolved as a species! This uncertainty, this uneasiness with the world, this constant desire for growth and change, it is the basis of our selves as human beings in opposition to other living things.

Now this comes back around to the question of Personal Identity at which I have been clawing. If we are, in essence, defined as a species by our desire to change, are we, in essence, defined as specific beings, or persons, by that change as well? We all have some purpose: some idea of our lives and the world toward which we are striving, some change we are being- but if we are not being some change, if we are not following some purpose, does this strip us of our humanism? Are we thus disbanded as a person until we find some new purpose? What does this make us in the mean time, and is it ever possible to be truly without purpose? The ultimate question being: Is one's 'change' or 'purpose' at any given moment, the essence of oneself , of one's entire identity?

We all know the feeling of being lost in our lives: moments of transition can feel wholly catastrophic. When we are changing from one purpose to another, altering our mind set, we often go through moments we have come to know as Identity Crises: yes, the age old question, "Who am I?" Of course, if we consider one's identity to be based solely one's purpose at any given moment, then we must ask, what constitutes our identity when we feel we are without a purpose? In these moments of transition, between things, when we are not being a particular change, what is it that we are being? And, thus, who is it that we are being? And, more importantly, can we, without this contingent human purpose or drive, can we even consider ourselves human?

For we do, in essence, allow different people different levels of humanity. If a woman with Alzheimer's punches her son in the face, we do not hold her responsible, because she did not know what she was doing. The same freedoms go for children, people with any serious brain damage or diseases, or even those who get off for murder by pleading temporary insanity. We say it was not their purpose, it was not their desire to harm- that they do not have control over themselves. They are, in a sense, less human than we: we cannot hold them morally responsible for their actions (forgive them, Lord, they know not what they do).

This can all be summed up into an idea: intention. If a person does not have the intention to cause harm, but does so, then society does not hold them morally responsible. And we treat animals the same way: if a tiger attacks a young boy at the zoo, we do not hold the tiger morally responsible. 'He had no intention of harming the boy', we might say. We do not consider the tiger to be a consciously moral being.

Here we are proffering levels of humanity: we give the tiger none, we give those with brain disease almost none, and the child very little: we punish and hold responsible in shades, all based solely on intention and purpose. If little Jim didn't mean to hurt his sister when he became angry and hit her upside the head, we do not call the police. If big Jim hits his sister upside the head, we most certainly do call the police. And quick before Jim catches sight of us. Because little Jim had no purpose, no intention of the final outcome, whereas big Jim did. We consider Big Jim fully human, fully morally responsible, a whole citizen, if not entirely trustworthy or fun to be around. Little Jim we do not consider entirely human, because his intention, his purpose was unclear.

How can we say it is any different for those of us who lose our intention, our purpose, at any given moment of our lives? Perhaps it is because we can never say we are entirely without purpose at any time: maybe it is so that we always have different levels of purpose, many different changes, big and small, that we are acting out: that when we are transitioning with one change we are being many other changes at the same time.

In toto: perhaps there was more to Gandhi's statement: perhaps we must be the change we wish to see in the world, both for the sake of the world, and for the sake of our selves, as selves.

Faith and Cynicism: a mindbody conundrum

2008-06-09T14:58:00.000-04:00

Faith.

Now I don't know if I can truthfully say that I was born a cynic, but I was most certainly raised to ask a lot of questions: to always wonder, to look at every problem from every different angle, to analyze, to pursue and to doubt. I think all of these to be very important. To doubt and wonder is to explore more, to learn more, to dig deeper, which are all beautiful and important things. But what about this faith, this trust? It seems to me that, coming from this naturally cynical place, this wondering place, this second-guessing place, makes it infinitely more difficult to let oneself go: to find the inner free fall (the free-ness and fullness in meditation) that is so necessary for our mind-body health. I find that it is the faith that allows for the free fall, and the questions and analyzation that prevent it.

And why do we need this free fall? It is the faith, or the trust, that allows our mind and body to connect: it is the freeing of the mind from all other questions, and allowing it to truly exist with and within our physical selves that allows for the ultimate in mind-body communication. Of course I find this necessary as a dancer, perhaps I am a bit partial to the necessity of connecting the two, but I believe it is essential for all of us: the mind health is dependent on the body, and the bodily health dependent on the mind.

It is a give and take with the mind-body communication, in the same way that it is a give and take with any person to person communication: to build up the trust of the two, sometimes the mind must listen, and sometimes the body must listen. We usually do not have as much of a problem allowing the body to listen in our society: we sit quite idly by the television or computer, we read and listen to the news, we daydream at our desks and nightdream in our beds. But the mind listening to the body is not something we do very often. This leaves our bodies desperately angry and out of shape: not necessarily muscularly, but communicatively. Perhaps this is a reason our bodies begin to shut down, perhaps not, there are all kinds of theories on the healing powers of yoga and meditation, but we can all certainly see that this leaves for an uneven level of mind-body communication.

Remedying this lack of equal communication seems necessary and obvious once you are aware of it, but, as we know, it is no easy task! There are some days on which finding the mental and bodily trust necessary to allow their communication feels nearly impossible: you have a deadline, money is tight, allergies are acting up... any kind of stress can prevent full realization of the "free-fall". On days like this it is tempting to simply 'go through the motions' and wait for a new day. But we must realize that this is at the expense of today. Sometimes it is as simple as an extra five minutes of quiet, and sometimes it is more difficult, but if you can take the time to find the connection, you will live every minute more fully, and find yourself infinitely more satisfied.

On these difficult days, I can sometimes find solace from some of the teachings of the Buddha. Whether you consider yourself of some spiritual persuasion or not, I believe everyone can find knowledge in these words, especially when your mind is hindered from trust by any one situation or another. Here are some of my personal favorites that help me when the mind is too busy to listen.

(Excerpts From The Twin Verses)

"For hatred does not cease by hatred at any time; hatred ceases by love-this is an eternal law..."

(...from Thought)

"Whatever a hater may do to a hater, or an enemy to an enemy, a wrongly-directed mind will do us greater mischief..."

(...from Punishment)

"...All men tremble at punishment, all men love life; remember that you are like unto them, and do not kill, nor cause slaughter./He who, seeking his own happiness, punishes beings who also long for happiness, will not find happiness... /Do not speak harshly to anyone; those who are spoken to will answer you in the same way. Angry speech is painful: blows for blows will touch you..." *

I find that, sometimes, allowing forgiveness for the things that trouble you can be the key to the mind-listening, and often words like these words help me to do so. It is interesting how sometimes consciously allowing yourself to think about what it is that is blocking your mind, and releasing it, can be enough to find the quiet, to find the communication, to allow for the health of our bodies and the appreciation and full experience of all our minutes.

*From The Teachings of The Compassionate Buddha, edited, with commentary, by E.A.Burtt

Sum (Personal Identity pt.2)

2008-05-04T15:52:00.000-04:00

I am the sum of my parts. I am not merely the continuity of my own consciousness, as John Locke would suggest, or a collection of perceptions, as George Berkeley would suggest, or a combination of one soul and one body as Plato would suggest: I am a combination of all things that make up my body- all things I think, feel and do, and have thought, felt and done. My mind is of my body- it is in every particle, atom, quark: every particle, atom, quark being made up of both physical stuff and mind stuff: the combination of which- binding together- form a common cause: my self, my memories, thoughts, states of being, etc... I make this case for panpsychism based on my own personal experience: specifically my experience as a dancer.
When sitting in a silent meditation before a movement improvisation, some instructors will guide you to 'listen' to the movement that is going on inside your body- to take in the information of movement that already exists on a small level, while most of your body is, in essence, perfectly still. There comes a point in this meditation where you can not only notice and sense the functions and processes on an almost molecular level in your own body, but movement begins to suggest itself to you. it takes an incredible amount of patience and inner stillness, but small parts of your body actually begin to show you what they "want" to do: all you have to do is let go and let it completely happen on its own. This phenomenon is not muscle spasms or simply following urges of how you might choose to move: it actually exists of its own accord. This suggests that there are little bits of mind everywhere, with their own subjectivity, in every part of us, bonding together to make up our selves.
This theory does, essentially, suggest that we are simply (our identities are based on) a constant collection of the same particles. One might suggest, then, that when we, say, grow new skin or hair, take in and excrete nourishment and waste, or even lose a leg, finger, tooth, that we could not possibly be the same person we were before the loss. However, these changes are quite small comparatively speaking. When we lose particles, we do, in a sense, lose some tiny part of ourselves, and often gain new ones. But who among us would suggest that we are not constantly changing beings? We are always and continuously shedding both cells and ideas and gaining new ones: new parts of our bodies, new cells or particles, adapt to become a part of us: to work efficiently within our system, with the other parts of us that are, as of any particular moment, making up our"self". Such is our 'mind stuff' constantly changing. At any given millisecond I am a collection of this stuff, and then this stuff, and then this stuff. I am both what I am and what I was. Even based on pure common sense: when we obtain a new memory and forget an old one, we do not say that we are a completely different person: simply a part of the collection of things that bond together, the combination that is a 'self', has slightly changed.
Our thoughts and ideas are nothing more than a combination of the mental and physical in the same way that our bodies are a combination of the mental and physical. The mind is everywhere: it exists in every part of our bodies and beyond. In essence, every bit of what is ontologically objective is, in effect, ontologically subjective- every little bit of every little thing has mind stuff and a potential point of view. The artist gets in touch with these small bits of mind: the parts that make up the combination of one's 'self' and the parts that are all around us. The artist listens to all of this mind stuff and interprets it. Memories that remain in tact are particles that are still making up our selves- memories we have forgotten are particles that had an affect on the particles which now make up our selves: we are not so much continuity of consciousness as chain reaction: cause and effect. I am both all that I have been and all that I am now. And now. And now...
Thus:
I am, simply, the sum of my parts.

MindBody Question: Personal Identity (pt.1)

2008-04-15T14:20:00.000-04:00

My gut, my intuition, and anatomy and physiology classes, tell me that the idea of, and very personal feeling and connection to, a "soul", is, in truth, simply the pre-frontal area of the frontal lobe of the human brain that accounts for personality. The things that differentiate, or individuate, us as separate singular beings have simply been a culmination of happenstance differentiation (the process of growth from embryo to birth when our cells become different body parts: bone tissue, neuron, red blood cell...), the way that our personal brains are connected to our bodies and the brains' processes over time of finding the most efficient paths of function, and personal experience: emotions felt, places seen, languages learned, familial relations, etc... William Hasker (Metaphysics: Constructing a World View: "Minds and Bodies") brings up the issue of humans in relation to other sentient beings, and how we must ask the same question of mentality (the soul) vs. physicality (the body) of these animals as well. My instinct kicks in to say it is no different with these other animals than with humans: that we are all simply evolving creatures of the earth, moving at different rates in different areas of the world (compare the average American or western European, say, to members of many aboriginal tribes who are still living of the earth in the way many animals do, yet are most certainly human beings) whose differences come simply from the science of experience and differentiation: the difference of the growth of our brains and our bodies over time. I have, of course, quite possibly flouted my own argument here by leaving ample room for the 'double aspect' of what Hasker refers to as Emergentism to creep in (Emergentism referring to the idea of the physical self giving rise to the 'soul' self: they both exist, but are generated, similar to a force field, by the rise of the physical). I base this argument on the grounds of, completely entrusting the argument to, my gut: to my intuition. But what is the gut: the intuition, and why is it to be trusted above the bodily thought, reason and senses?